GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
