my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize