i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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