you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
we made out on top of his cat.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
