We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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