So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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