Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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