Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
