This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize