Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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