UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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