thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
