You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
