I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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