so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
