I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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