Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
