Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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