I just gift wrapped bread.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
