Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
