i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i came on her dog
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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