I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
