We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
