its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
