Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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