i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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