Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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