Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
