Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
