Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
