I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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