I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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