if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize