mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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