U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
