i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
