But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
