Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne

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(516): View more from New York

She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.

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(212): View more from New York

I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.

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(514): View more from Quebec

Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover

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(913): View more from Kansas

ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS

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