the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
