Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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