just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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