so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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