He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
