He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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