Define "chronic" masturbator.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
