Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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