I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
