PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
