She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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