I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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