I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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