i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My vagina is very pro this idea
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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