I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
