haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize