I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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