my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Green mimosas i think yes
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
