She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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