well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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