shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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