All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
