You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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