yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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