The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
