I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
